I just finished reading water & power and all I can say is that military life is awful. One aspect that I found very interesting in the book is the perils of marriage. There was one interview in the book where a wife talked about how her husband is always overseas and that she has to raise their children by herself. She was basically living her life as a single parent and that sounds like a nightmare to be constantly yearning for your husband’s return, only for him to leave again in a few weeks. I am surprise how long people can tolerate long distance relationships that go on for years and years, but in the end the relationship will inevitably fall apart. Not to mention, the book mentions how the soldier’s wives sometimes cheat on them while some of the soldiers go off to strip clubs or have multiple girlfriends. It seems like long distance can really destroy the foundation of trust that you built with your partner. It does not sound like you should start a relationship with someone who you know will be gone for months or even years. It is a huge sacrifice to make if you ever decide to join the military.
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I really like that you brought this up because I also took note of this while reading. I think that military wives are often not given much attention. People know they will receive benefits and it is just considered normal for their husbands to be gone 80% of the time and fully having to watch their children all alone, essentially just being a single mother. The emotional and mental grief this life must cause that many will just look past is talked about within the book and I think it was a good conversation to bring up. Granted, these women may think they know what a military life will be like until they actually live it and are just alone all the time. I know personally many military wives will have to get a pet or something so they don’t go totally insane just being alone and being in a new foreign place. It can be hard speaking out about these women’s experiences too I’d imagine because of the stigma behind speaking negatively about the military or the possibility of losing benefits. It made sense that the interview with the woman who was a military wife in the book was very adamant about staying anonymous.
As someone with a lot of friends that are in the military/have significant others in the military, this is something that I have also taken note of. It’s definitely a struggle for some couples, whereas others find ways to thrive during deployments/moving/etc. I know people who have cheated on their significant others while they’ve been serving overseas and people who have ruined relationships while they were gone. It can be a very difficult challenge for some people to overcome, but I’ve heard it can also be a really rewarding experience that makes one value their partner even more, it just depends on the people. I don’t think I could ever be a military spouse, but I can understand why some people are okay with it.